My story:
Exactly two years ago my life began to change. I know that sounds cliche but because of one seemingly small incident my mind starting thinking in a different way and it drastically impacted how I decided I wanted to live my life. While at first I thought what had happened to me was terrible and devastating, I later learned was actually a huge blessing in disguise. In March 2013, my skin broke out, in my eyes, quite severely with acne. If anyone has suffered from acne in the past or even currently, I'm sure you can share the pain that acne can cause both physically, psychologically and of course emotionally. By definition, acne is: "the occurrence of inflamed or infected sebaceous glands in the skin; in particular, a condition characterized by red pimples on the face, prevalent chiefly among teenagers." Acne, however for anyone who has experienced it realizes it is much more than an irritable skin condition. Acne causes individuals to suffer from many emotional problems due to our societies obsession with flawless skin. When I reached puberty at the later age of 16 I started to develop pimples, oily, and acne prone skin as most teenagers do. My skin wasn't necessary to bad over the years but it definitely wasn't as clear as many of the girls I went to school with. I was able to see past it at the time. However, I wasn't expecting to break out with a bad cause of adult acne at the age of 20. And to my horrifying surprise have it last two whole years. The pictures below are a documentation of the struggle I've had with acne over the past two years and while my experience with acne is definitely not over it has gotten significantly better.
When I first broke out in March 2013 I was traumatized to say the least. I was in my second year of University and starting up my job for the summer at the local Ice Cream shop as an ice-cream scooper. My anxiety of working with the public with the horrible skin problem I was experiencing was enough to have me crying almost everyday before work. The bottom left picture where I am wearing a blue shirt (my work shirt haha) was the worst my acne had gotten. It's all I could obsess over. It consumed my mind. I'd look in the mirror and automatically think I was ugly and no matter how many times my parents, my sister, my boyfriend and others would tell me I looked beautiful I could never believe them. You see, acne is a lot more than just a dictionary definition or physical condition. It impacts the way you feel about yourself, how you think, and how you interact with others. Shortly after I began struggling with this bout of acne I realized that I was not acting like the person I was. I've always been a strongly positive person and really encouraged others to see themselves for who they were and their beauty inside of them. However, I was not doing this for myself. I decided from then on I needed to start practicing what I "preached"
On June 13th, I decided I would finally open up publicly about my struggles with acne in hopes that it would help me heal. I posted the following on Facebook and to my surprise the support I received was so heartwarming. I received 36 comments and 61 likes on this post of pure encouragement.
"Sometimes the hardest thing to do is talk about your insecurities. But i've realized the longer you try to hide them or let them consume you, the darker you go into your thoughts. My number 1 insecurity is my acne. First of all, I don't have it as bad as a lot of others and that I am grateful for, but no matter how moderate, mild, or severe it is acne is acne and it causes a lot of discomfort. Acne brings down your self esteem, self confidence. It makes you feel ugly. It makes you hate the face that stares back at you every morning in the mirror. I can't remember how many times I've woken up with excitement hoping a miracle has taken place and my face is clear, to be disappointed after I looked in the mirror. I tried to stop looking in mirrors as much. Tried to pretend like it wasn't there. I've cried I don't know how many times because of one stupid little problem. I can't thank the people in my life like my boyfriend Ricardo Joshiel Rodriguez who doesn't even notice it, he tells me that it has never bothered him and it will never bother him, because the acne doesn't make me as a person. You honestly don't know how much that helps me get through the day. And my parents and my sister Edwin Marton, Elaine Bondy Marton Aleah Marton who encourage me everyday to see past the mirror and love myself for who I am. The reason I am posting this is because I'm done with trying to hide this imperfection and I want to be free from it. Maybe it'll take awhile to go away, but eventually it will. And to anyone who has ever struggled or is struggling with acne I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. The biggest lesson I've learned in the past couple of months is that the ones who care most about you are the ones who don't notice your imperfections. There are so many things we see wrong with ourselves that are so minor people would laugh at us for being so afraid of them. The number 1 thing I wanted to get out of this post is to inspire people to love themselves for all that you are, stop trying to change yourself, just make yourself a better you. Maybe you want to loose a few pounds, or look prettier, get fit, eat healthier. You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to, I'm a firm believer in that. Remember don't change yourself for someone else, because ultimately you won't be happy with the result, If you want to change than do it for YOU!! I hope sometime soon my acne will go away, but for now I just want to start living in the present, acne and all. And I will always remember that "some things take time".
I can't say that all of my problems were solved from that one post but I can admit that it really started me on the journey to self-acceptance and emotional healing. From then I decided I was no longer going to hide my insecurity with make-up either. I knew that "covering up" the acne was a temporary solution to something than ran much deeper than just my skin. Additionally, if I used make-up to cover up the pimples and scars it would make it worse. So I went for about a few months without wearing any cover up and I can't explain enough how much it truly did help. I started to see myself for more than just my acne and although I'd struggle every other day when I would compare my skin to others I just continued to positively self-talk myself away from negative thoughts.
On January 9th, 2014 (about 10 months after I first broke out) I made another public post about my experience and journey with acne. The picture below is the image that I shared and the following is the comment that I posted (on this post I received 42 comments, and 112 likes and 2 shares)
"Hey everyone! I wanted to make an update about my skin since I haven't posted in awhile ! FYI before I begin the pictures were taken on my iPhone so they are not very great quality and in some cases make it seem much more inflamed than it is, but it is for the general idea..
I started this joinery to clear skin back in April 2013 when my skin/acne was at it's worst. Throughout high school I had always had some problems with my skin and never was the girl with clear or smooth skin, but for some unknown reason it got very inflamed and I broke out the worse I ever had last April.. So i began my journey in clearing it up.. In the beginning stages I was absolutely devastated as you can see from the bottom left hand corner picture (May 3rd, 2013), it was pretty much covering the left side of my cheek and rising to my temple.. Aswell you can notice the sadness in my eyes.. I was so horrified by my skin that I would cry before leaving the house or going to work because I was terrified about what other people would think.. This is also the time that I decided NOT to wear any type of coverup to cover the blemishes as I knew it added to the problem. So since around April I believe I have only worn cover up 3 times, this decision was extremely hard but I knew that in order to get over my fear I had to expose it. So thats when I first also decided to tell people about my biggest insecurity ... duh duh duh... ACNE! no surprise there. But I believe that in order to get over my fear I actually had to except the fact that I was afraid of what OTHER people thought about my skin.. and you know what I realized?! I had SOO much support from my family and friends, and none of them had ever really looked at my acne or really realized it was a problem.. so than I began to think that maybe I was the PROBLEM... The top right picture was taken on may 9th to show the other side of my face which was equally as broken out and inflamed as the other.. The top two left photos were taken on July 22nd & may 23rd respectively. AS you can see they had shown some improvement since the beginning of may, however my self-esteem had not..
Now lets skip a couple months and into a new year! January 2014, the picture in the middle and bottom right were taken this morning! I believe there is a HUGE difference between these two pictures and the other four. But if you wanted to know what the biggest difference I believe has happened in the past 8 ish months.. ?! It's not the fact that my skin has become more smooth, and my breakouts are less frequent, or even that it's not sore and inflamed anymore... It's actually the change I've noticed INSIDE of me that has made the greatest impact on my life!! CLEARLY my journey to end my acne is FAR from being over.. and I'm OKAY with that!! If you're always looking for happiness at the end of your journey, how do ever know you're actually there? IF you can't learn to be happy during the process.. how can you actually start living a fulfilling and peaceful life? Through 8 months of trying to get rid of my acne quickly, I've realized like anything worth something in life it doesn't come easily or quickly, you HAVE to work for it!! My self-esteem has risen so much and my confidence has also been increased since April.. Before I would look in the mirror and see UGLY! UGLY is such a horrible word to call yourself... if you wouldn't call someone you loved ugly than why are you calling the most important person in your life that word?!
Now you may ask why I bother to post this on social media and why I may be bothering you with such a post.. #1 if you have a problem with my repetitive posts about my acne than you do not understand why I post this. I post these pictures because I want to give others who are struggling with the same battle the ability to understand that they're NOT alone! By opening up about my number 1 insecurity I have been able to heal myself from the inside out and I think that is the most important thing. We all have to realize that in order to ever truly love anything in this world you have to love yourself, because without self-love how do you really know what love is?
IF you read this entire post, I just wanted to thank you, because you have taken the time to support me and for that I am grateful! Without the love and support of my family & friends I'm sure this journey would not have been as fulfilling as it has been!!! xo"
When I first broke out in March 2013 I was traumatized to say the least. I was in my second year of University and starting up my job for the summer at the local Ice Cream shop as an ice-cream scooper. My anxiety of working with the public with the horrible skin problem I was experiencing was enough to have me crying almost everyday before work. The bottom left picture where I am wearing a blue shirt (my work shirt haha) was the worst my acne had gotten. It's all I could obsess over. It consumed my mind. I'd look in the mirror and automatically think I was ugly and no matter how many times my parents, my sister, my boyfriend and others would tell me I looked beautiful I could never believe them. You see, acne is a lot more than just a dictionary definition or physical condition. It impacts the way you feel about yourself, how you think, and how you interact with others. Shortly after I began struggling with this bout of acne I realized that I was not acting like the person I was. I've always been a strongly positive person and really encouraged others to see themselves for who they were and their beauty inside of them. However, I was not doing this for myself. I decided from then on I needed to start practicing what I "preached"
On June 13th, I decided I would finally open up publicly about my struggles with acne in hopes that it would help me heal. I posted the following on Facebook and to my surprise the support I received was so heartwarming. I received 36 comments and 61 likes on this post of pure encouragement.
"Sometimes the hardest thing to do is talk about your insecurities. But i've realized the longer you try to hide them or let them consume you, the darker you go into your thoughts. My number 1 insecurity is my acne. First of all, I don't have it as bad as a lot of others and that I am grateful for, but no matter how moderate, mild, or severe it is acne is acne and it causes a lot of discomfort. Acne brings down your self esteem, self confidence. It makes you feel ugly. It makes you hate the face that stares back at you every morning in the mirror. I can't remember how many times I've woken up with excitement hoping a miracle has taken place and my face is clear, to be disappointed after I looked in the mirror. I tried to stop looking in mirrors as much. Tried to pretend like it wasn't there. I've cried I don't know how many times because of one stupid little problem. I can't thank the people in my life like my boyfriend Ricardo Joshiel Rodriguez who doesn't even notice it, he tells me that it has never bothered him and it will never bother him, because the acne doesn't make me as a person. You honestly don't know how much that helps me get through the day. And my parents and my sister Edwin Marton, Elaine Bondy Marton Aleah Marton who encourage me everyday to see past the mirror and love myself for who I am. The reason I am posting this is because I'm done with trying to hide this imperfection and I want to be free from it. Maybe it'll take awhile to go away, but eventually it will. And to anyone who has ever struggled or is struggling with acne I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. The biggest lesson I've learned in the past couple of months is that the ones who care most about you are the ones who don't notice your imperfections. There are so many things we see wrong with ourselves that are so minor people would laugh at us for being so afraid of them. The number 1 thing I wanted to get out of this post is to inspire people to love themselves for all that you are, stop trying to change yourself, just make yourself a better you. Maybe you want to loose a few pounds, or look prettier, get fit, eat healthier. You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to, I'm a firm believer in that. Remember don't change yourself for someone else, because ultimately you won't be happy with the result, If you want to change than do it for YOU!! I hope sometime soon my acne will go away, but for now I just want to start living in the present, acne and all. And I will always remember that "some things take time".
I can't say that all of my problems were solved from that one post but I can admit that it really started me on the journey to self-acceptance and emotional healing. From then I decided I was no longer going to hide my insecurity with make-up either. I knew that "covering up" the acne was a temporary solution to something than ran much deeper than just my skin. Additionally, if I used make-up to cover up the pimples and scars it would make it worse. So I went for about a few months without wearing any cover up and I can't explain enough how much it truly did help. I started to see myself for more than just my acne and although I'd struggle every other day when I would compare my skin to others I just continued to positively self-talk myself away from negative thoughts.
On January 9th, 2014 (about 10 months after I first broke out) I made another public post about my experience and journey with acne. The picture below is the image that I shared and the following is the comment that I posted (on this post I received 42 comments, and 112 likes and 2 shares)
"Hey everyone! I wanted to make an update about my skin since I haven't posted in awhile ! FYI before I begin the pictures were taken on my iPhone so they are not very great quality and in some cases make it seem much more inflamed than it is, but it is for the general idea..
I started this joinery to clear skin back in April 2013 when my skin/acne was at it's worst. Throughout high school I had always had some problems with my skin and never was the girl with clear or smooth skin, but for some unknown reason it got very inflamed and I broke out the worse I ever had last April.. So i began my journey in clearing it up.. In the beginning stages I was absolutely devastated as you can see from the bottom left hand corner picture (May 3rd, 2013), it was pretty much covering the left side of my cheek and rising to my temple.. Aswell you can notice the sadness in my eyes.. I was so horrified by my skin that I would cry before leaving the house or going to work because I was terrified about what other people would think.. This is also the time that I decided NOT to wear any type of coverup to cover the blemishes as I knew it added to the problem. So since around April I believe I have only worn cover up 3 times, this decision was extremely hard but I knew that in order to get over my fear I had to expose it. So thats when I first also decided to tell people about my biggest insecurity ... duh duh duh... ACNE! no surprise there. But I believe that in order to get over my fear I actually had to except the fact that I was afraid of what OTHER people thought about my skin.. and you know what I realized?! I had SOO much support from my family and friends, and none of them had ever really looked at my acne or really realized it was a problem.. so than I began to think that maybe I was the PROBLEM... The top right picture was taken on may 9th to show the other side of my face which was equally as broken out and inflamed as the other.. The top two left photos were taken on July 22nd & may 23rd respectively. AS you can see they had shown some improvement since the beginning of may, however my self-esteem had not..
Now lets skip a couple months and into a new year! January 2014, the picture in the middle and bottom right were taken this morning! I believe there is a HUGE difference between these two pictures and the other four. But if you wanted to know what the biggest difference I believe has happened in the past 8 ish months.. ?! It's not the fact that my skin has become more smooth, and my breakouts are less frequent, or even that it's not sore and inflamed anymore... It's actually the change I've noticed INSIDE of me that has made the greatest impact on my life!! CLEARLY my journey to end my acne is FAR from being over.. and I'm OKAY with that!! If you're always looking for happiness at the end of your journey, how do ever know you're actually there? IF you can't learn to be happy during the process.. how can you actually start living a fulfilling and peaceful life? Through 8 months of trying to get rid of my acne quickly, I've realized like anything worth something in life it doesn't come easily or quickly, you HAVE to work for it!! My self-esteem has risen so much and my confidence has also been increased since April.. Before I would look in the mirror and see UGLY! UGLY is such a horrible word to call yourself... if you wouldn't call someone you loved ugly than why are you calling the most important person in your life that word?!
Now you may ask why I bother to post this on social media and why I may be bothering you with such a post.. #1 if you have a problem with my repetitive posts about my acne than you do not understand why I post this. I post these pictures because I want to give others who are struggling with the same battle the ability to understand that they're NOT alone! By opening up about my number 1 insecurity I have been able to heal myself from the inside out and I think that is the most important thing. We all have to realize that in order to ever truly love anything in this world you have to love yourself, because without self-love how do you really know what love is?
IF you read this entire post, I just wanted to thank you, because you have taken the time to support me and for that I am grateful! Without the love and support of my family & friends I'm sure this journey would not have been as fulfilling as it has been!!! xo"
And now here we are on April 16th, 2015. What can I tell you about exactly two years of my experience with acne? Well for starters... I still have acne! Which may seem unfortunate and at times yes I agree it definitely is. I believe that this experience has made me a stronger and more confident person. I've gained several understandings over the past two years that have lead me to living a more natural, healthy loving, confident and happy life BECAUSE of my acne. Who would have thought? Two years ago I went into work with blurry eyes and a puffy nose because I was so upset with how my skin looked. Now I can confidently walk out of the house without anything covering up my pimples or blemishes without much of a problem. I'm not going to lie some days are better than others but I can CONFIDENTLY say that I have grown tremendously as a person the past two years and I am at a much better place than I was in April 2013. Not only have I gained a lot of confidence and emotional stability since April 2013 but I've also been walking down a path to a more holistic, environmentally friendly, sustainable and healthy way of living. When I first broke out with acne for some reason I had automatically decided I did NOT want to use ANY store bought acne medications as I had already understood their dangers. I said NO to proactive, NO to accutane, and NO to countless other types of medication that claimed they would heal my acne. Realizing that my skin is the largest organ of my body I understood that my acne was telling me something more about my body that I needed to understand. So I took off down the "natural" path to discovering how to "HEAL" not "CURE" my acne. I've experimented with a crazy amount of foods, clays, milks, natural/ organic products and they have all helped in their own way. It's been fun to share my journey with others and I realize I may still have a long way to go before I get that clear and soft "beautiful" skin that everyone is dying to have but I'm at peace with that. I truly am. Just one last thing that I've found incredibly inspiring over the past two years is the amount of people that have come to me for advice about their acne. In a world that tries to tell us to cover up our flaws and insecurities I've decided to FLAUNT them! Want to know why? Because there are THOUSANDS of girls and boys, men and women that are suffering from acne right this minute! I want to be that person they see on the street with a few pimples and red skin and for them to think "WOW! If she can show her acne and walk confidently down the street, so can I!" We don't see acne faces in the media, we don't see people with skin conditions and that is harmful to children, teenagers and adults trying to understand themselves with acne. If I can be that person that they see with acne, without covering it up, I know that it will have a positive impact on them in some way! I am a firm believer in "be[ing] the change you wish to see in the world." To all my fellow acne sufferers that may be reading this YOU ARE AMAZING, YOU ARE SMART, YOU ARE UNDENIABLE BEAUTIFUL, and everything else you want to be !! Don't let your acne hold you back from the great things waiting for you out your front door! :)
What have I accomplished in two years while suffering from Acne?
- I was on the deans honour roll list in 2013/14 and 2015.
- I was an academic all Canadian for the two years of acne hell.
- I got a job with Community Living Essex County and am a proud support worker of a great guy!
- I got accepted to two programs with Motivate Canada to help engage youth in my community and country in sports and physical activity.
- I met SOOOO many new friends and have forged some AMAZING friendships I will have for the REST of my life!
- I am graduating THIS SPRING!
You might be wondering why is she "bragging" about all these accompaniments, and while I am proud of all of them, I'm not bragging. I'm actually pointing out everything I've been able to do WHILE suffering from acne. If I let acne hold me back I might not have accomplished so many things that I did. If acne really was that big of a deal in real life maybe I would not have gotten that job for Community Living because my skin just didn't look clear enough at the interview! But you know what? They diddn't care what my skin looked like! They cared about what was in my hear (and of course what was on my resume, but that's besides the point) ;).
SO I'm challenging you to go out there in the world without the fear of being unaccepted because you have acne. Always remember from the wise words of Dr. Seuss, "Those who mind don't matter, and those that matter won't mind."
Self-peace, self-love, and self-acceptance to you all,
Meaghan Marton <3
What have I accomplished in two years while suffering from Acne?
- I was on the deans honour roll list in 2013/14 and 2015.
- I was an academic all Canadian for the two years of acne hell.
- I got a job with Community Living Essex County and am a proud support worker of a great guy!
- I got accepted to two programs with Motivate Canada to help engage youth in my community and country in sports and physical activity.
- I met SOOOO many new friends and have forged some AMAZING friendships I will have for the REST of my life!
- I am graduating THIS SPRING!
You might be wondering why is she "bragging" about all these accompaniments, and while I am proud of all of them, I'm not bragging. I'm actually pointing out everything I've been able to do WHILE suffering from acne. If I let acne hold me back I might not have accomplished so many things that I did. If acne really was that big of a deal in real life maybe I would not have gotten that job for Community Living because my skin just didn't look clear enough at the interview! But you know what? They diddn't care what my skin looked like! They cared about what was in my hear (and of course what was on my resume, but that's besides the point) ;).
SO I'm challenging you to go out there in the world without the fear of being unaccepted because you have acne. Always remember from the wise words of Dr. Seuss, "Those who mind don't matter, and those that matter won't mind."
Self-peace, self-love, and self-acceptance to you all,
Meaghan Marton <3